The Abudance Mindset
I've encountered a handful of people in my life that made me question how my brain works, genuinely shaking me to the core.
These people were always happy. Nothing seemed to upset them. They somehow seemed to radiate positive energy and lived with a presence much larger than their physical frame.
And the odd thing about it is that I was jealous of them.
Now, I'm not an unhappy person. My nickname when I played peewee baseball was "smiley", but these people are on another level.
I wasn't sure if it was an act or if they were just genuinely free spirits.
You've met one of these people before, and they quite possibly rubbed you the wrong way. They are just too damn happy. Its unsettling.
If you're looking for some notable examples, here are three who I'd say who fit the mold
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
- Phil Rosenthal
- Ted Lasso
For the rest of the article I'm going to identify these people as icons.
So what differentiates icons from the ordinary grumpy man? Two characteristics: Fulfillment & Perception.
Happiness vs Fulfillment
Its important to mention upfront the differences between happiness & fulfillment because seeking out happiness is not how icons actually become happy.
Some dictionary definitions,
Happiness is "a state of well-being and contentment."
Fulfillment is "the achievement of something desired, promised, or predicted."
Fulfillment is a much deeper state of being than happiness because it requires a sacrifice. You have to work to accomplish something that holds personal value.
- I'm happy after I eat a Five Guys double stacker burger. But am I fulfilled?
- I'm happy after I watch a UGA football crush other SEC teams. But am I fulfilled?
- I'm happy after I watch a good movie on Netflix. But am I fulfilled?
The answer is a resounding NO.
Icons commit themselves to achieve fulfillment at all costs. Arnold left his family and worked out 24/7 to achieve his weight lifting titles, Phil worked odd jobs & honed his writing craft for 15 years before producing the award wining Everybody Loves Raymond, and Ted Lasso left his whole family behind to take a head coaching job and turn the team around (yes its imaginary).
Icons get fulfillment from years of working toward their goals which in turn gives them even more energy to live abundantly. Its a positive flywheel effect.
A caveat here being... what if I work hard and things just don't go my way? What if I don't accomplish my goals?
Science says you will still be fulfilled as long as you gave it your best shot.
The alternative is doing nothing and just swallowing your goals; however, lack of action leads to a deep sense of regret later in life which at that point fulfillment is much harder to accomplish.
Happiness is fleeting, fulfillment is lifelong.
Perception of Reality is Your Reality
Perception and sense of self are interesting things to study in psychology.
Ray Dalio things feel close right up front.
Some people see farther and can remove themselves from particular scenarios in order to think about the bigger picture.
Reacting to your environment vs molding your environment.
spotlight effect
https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_the_surprising_science_of_happiness?referrer=playlist-what_makes_you_happy&autoplay=true
Icons have a different perception of reality than you or I.
psychology paper. some effects.
perception of reality. reality is what you think it is.
How to Learn The Abundance Mindset
I believe the abundance mindset is a learned skill.
Some people just have the right upbringing & series of environmental factors that bring it out more easily.
Perception + Fulfillment = Abundance
growth mindset
mindfulness
The mind of these individuals seems to be at peace. They either live with clear purpose & achieve their goals or take the free spirit route.
So, you have two potential paths:
- Work toward your ambitious goal and revile in fulfillment after achieving it
- Live a comfortable life and recognize we're a small blip of time & space
Now I'm not saying one is above, but you can't live a comfortable life if you have ambitious goals - you are going to suffer.
And for some suffering is happiness. That's stoicism actually.
Conversely, you can't take a full monk, free spirit mindset and think everything is insignificant while staying highly motivated to accomplish a goal where you made up its importance.
In summary,
- Choose your path: free spirit or hard work
- Commit to that path with mindfulness
- Check your mindset often
Both live with an abundance mindset, a mindset that frees them from focusing on the "what might be wrong" in life to embrace what is good and what they can control.